Wednesday, August 6, 2014

FemDom: When You're Her Bitch

Sarah Diavola knows how to make a man love his denial.

"If a man is not worthy of release, he will not receive it - and he will love me for denying him." - Lela Beryl 

The subject of female domination is always one that stirs the pot. Too many guys think having a woman in charge sexually is some knock on their manhood. I bet most of them have never even tried it. There are so many levels of domination and even more with the play involved with it. FemDom doesn't necessarily mean you're going to be wearing her panties and taking it up the ass with a strap on. I've found incorporating a bit of it (sometimes a lot of it) into my foot fetish can be very erotic. 

While I'm not here to convince any of you as to why you need to experience FemDom, I think it's a fascinating topic that ties in so well to foot fetishism. Some people even argue that by default, licking, smelling, and pampering a woman's feet is a submissive act in itself. I'm not going down that road here. I'm focusing on all the eroticism involved with a woman being in charge while you're down at her feet.

When it comes to FemDom, just like the guys, some women just aren't into it. They're the submissive types and need someone to be the dominate one. They feel out of place telling someone what to do, much less, teasing, denying, or inflicting pain and punishment to someone sexually. But then there are those women who love it. And then there are those who demand it!

Take Sarah Diavola for instance. On her Twitter account (@SaraDiavola), she describes herself as, "...the Brat in @bratprincess," a "Dominatrix, Fetish Guru, Loud-mouth Bitch." 

Just looking through Sarah's store,, lets you see just how well versed this "bratty" babe is. And she's no stranger to incorporating her size 6 feet into her FemDom play either. Foot worship, jerk off instruction, giantess fantasies, edging, tease and denial, ballbusting, cum clean up, and foot sniffing are just a few of the FemDom subjects I found being incorporated into foot play in the first few pages alone. With 254 pages worth of clips and counting, it's safe to say Sarah knows how to bend and even break a foot guy in need of some domination.

"I am very skilled at dexterity with my feet and I am aware of where every toe and arch is touching you. I am probably most experienced with foot fetish, of all the kinks," Sarah explains.

Sara recalls some foot play scenarios she had with an ex-boyfriend. "We would use nail polish, stocking, or shoe purchases as foreplay, which gave him a rush in the store. The way my feet turned him on, from in the shoe to the light trampling, to the footjob - it made me excited about my own beauty."

Sarah Diavola is used to putting men in their place , which often means, under her feet.

One guy who knows what it's like to be under Sarah's feet is Jason Ninja (@JasonNinja). Actually, he is used to being under just more than her feet as he's a huge fan of trampling, especially multi-girl tramples - as seen below. 

"My favorite is being trampled, which is what it sounds like - having the woman literally walking all over your body and face, either barefoot or with shoes." Jason explains.

Jason Ninja's favorite form of FemDom when it comes to foot play is trampling.

Jason's ultimate is when a girl stand on his face. He says it's a "huge rush." But he's also a huge fan of smothering. "Having the girl remove her shoes or socks after wearing them all day and making [me] smell them."

And if you think being trampled is extreme, then you have never experienced ballbusting - and you might not want to! It's certainly not for everyone, but there are a great deal of people who enjoy the act from both sides.

One such person who loves kicking a set of balls is Lela Beryl (@LelaBeryl). Lela can be seen on a number of fetish sites around the web, often times, putting a man in his place under her feet. 

When I had the opportunity to meet up with Lela earlier this year for, she also had a number of ballbusting appointments on her calendar. She and her good friend, and fellow Soles of Silk model, Rachel DD (@GoddessRachelle), had already busted up a few sets of balls during their road trip up the East Coast and were looking for more.

"Ballbusting is easily my favorite. My feet may be small and dainty, but like the rest of me, they are disproportionately powerful!" Lela says.

When I asked her why she enjoys ballbusting so much, her answer had nothing to do with causing pain. "Ballbusting provides me stress relief like nothing else is quite able to do," Lela describes.

Lela isn't alone when it comes to enjoying ballbusting either. Fellow model Laci Star (@LaciStar_xo) has a similar passion for putting her feet to a set of balls.

"I've been into FemDom since 2010, when I was barely 18. I was introduced first to female wrestling and I enjoyed it so much that I went on to ballbusting," Laci recalls.

And when it comes to ballbusting, these girls want a set of balls that can take countless kicks. Just ask Sarah. "I love a man that can take it. As a matter of fact, I can't stand when I see immediate, blinding pain," she says. "It's far better to have a wall of strength crumble before me, than a wet noodle disintegrate after one blow."

But what guy in their right mind is letting a girl kick him in the balls? Even Jason Ninja isn't the biggest fan and he's used to having a few hundred pounds of women trampling him at any given time.

"I've never been the biggest fan of it," he describes. "But as I've gotten older, I have gotten more into the ball/cock stomping activity.

Jason Ninja, like many, aren't into the full on kicks that come with ballbusting, electing more for the squishing feeling of having his genitals under a woman's feet.

"It does give that sense of pain, but with the tiniest amount of pleasure too," he says. "The more it happens, the more enjoyment picks up."

As far as crushing a set of balls under her feet, Sarah also gets a lot of enjoyment out of the unique feeling. "When I crush balls, I prefer bare feet. I like to feel the delicate balls of 'man-soul' between my toes and see how far I can twist and smash them until they're ready to burst."

Shoes aren't out of the question, however. "There's something so sexy about seeing half of a testicle spilling out from under the toe of my high heel, or dimpling deep under my stiletto," Sarah further adds.

But what about those people who aren't into any form of pain at all? FemDom can still exist without incorporating any pain whatsoever. The biggest part of successful FemDom play is actually the mental aspect.

"Female domination isn't just about 'whips and chains,'" Jason explains. "Many dominant women have long lasting sensual relationships with many of their submissives."

When that mental connection is made between the Domme and her submissive, no matter the level of the relationship between the two, it just clicks. 

"It's entirely possible for a woman to get anything she wants out of a man using only her feminine wiles," Lela explains. "Mesmerizing men with a sultry lilt or bedroom eyes is an extremely effective form of domination."

And in one of the stranger aspects of FemDom play, there are people who get off on, well, not being able to get off! Tease and denial, edging, and even ruined orgasms are a favorite of many.

"I like to edge all fucking day," Sarah admits.

And she's far from alone on this one.

"More than anything, I love the power of tease and denial. I find it fun to be in control and have the roles switched," Laci explains.

If you get to cum, Laci Star just might make you lick it up afterward.

"If a man is not worthy of release, he will not receive it - and he will love me for denying him," Lela claims. "I've found that the longer I tease and deny, the more intense the man's devotion to me."

And sometimes Lela admits that she even denies the guys who are worthy. "Rarely, but yes. And I have yet for a guy to ever be anything but grateful for that denial."

Just because Lela Beryl is encouraging you to jerk off, it doesn't you're going to cum.

And believe it or not, this isn't just something the girls enjoy!

"Edging is great fun! Getting to that point and then stopping right before you explode... it can drive you ravenous! I definitely feel it makes the eventual orgasm feel that much better too," Jason describes.

So why do people enjoy any or all of these aspects of FemDom? Well, that is going to vary person to person, just like anything in life.

Laci, who describes herself as a "pro switch behind the camera," but "very submissive" in real life, also likes being controlled by a dominant female. "I like playing the damsel in distress and forced orgasms make me cum so hard."

"A dominant woman in the bedroom can be a lot of fun," Jason says. "Knowing the woman is in full control and you may just be getting used purely for her amusement and enjoyment can be a rush."

"Being dominated is like being on a mental vacation and getting an emotion massage or workout," Sarah says. "To be dominated by someone who knows what she's doing is like laying down and trusting your chiropractor not to pop your neck off. There's risk, there's a little pain, but you're putting yourself in the hands of a professional who will have you walking out of the office a better person."

Lela, a comic book nerd, managed to draw a comparison to the web-slinging, Spider-Man. "As Uncle Ben said, 'With great power comes great responsibility.' I think we are all well aware that Spidey gets really fucking stressed out by all that responsibility. That leads me to believe that Mary Jane must be quite proficient with the whip."

If you're not sure what she means by that, she's calling FemDom play a great way to release the stresses put on us by every day life. 

"Men in a position of power in their careers are typically the ones most wanting to be dominated in the bedroom. After a stressful day of making decisions and bearing the weight of the consequences, it's completely understandable why a guy would want to turn off his brain and relinquish control. Without the weight of responsibility consuming every thought and feeling, a guy can focus on the physical and/or mental intensity unleashed upon him by his beautiful mistress," Lela says.

Ultimately what FemDom boils down to is what you're into and what you're not. If it's not your thing, all the testimonial in the world isn't going to sway your opinion. But for the people who are curious, it's worth experimenting with. You have nothing to lose, maybe except your release! But that's oddly, part of the fun.

How to find those featured in this column:

Jason Ninja: @JasonNinja (Twitter), (Online)
Laci Star: @LaciStar_xo (Twitter)
Lela Beryl: @LelaBeryl (Twitter)
Sarah Diavola: @SarahDiavola (Twitter), (Online)