The column found below was published in January 2006 on Wu's Feetlinks. With Wu's passing in 2014, I have decided to preserve these columns here on the all new Wu's Feetlinks Columns Blog as new columnists carry on with the new ones. Please note: Website URLs, e-mail addresses, and mailing addresses found within these republished blogs may no longer be valid.
Ever since I started my website, I have received e-mail from men asking questions about their foot fetish... wanting to understand or explore it. But most of all, they ask me how to get a woman to welcome their advances (towards the female's pretty peds that is). I always try to do my best to answer their questions, and give them some things to think on. But I also suggest that they visit Wu's. As you guys know, it is a good place for discovery. Clearly there are many groupings and levels of ped admiration, foot loving, worship and even sub-fetishes. However when you boil it all down, there are basically 3 types of men that come to Wu's.
I will call the first group the foot fetish connoisseurs. These men have come to terms with their passion and generally do experience the pleasures of the foot. I believe that these men - usually a little older have the necessary confidence needed to fully enjoy their below the ankle inclinations. In many cases these men have been successful by incorporating feet into their daily sex life. These men usually are good communicators, and have a partner that indulges their fetish. However sometimes this group still feels the need to venture out into cyber space to explore more. Sometimes they even surf with their ladies. All in good fun.
Then there are men that are not new to the fetish realm, but have for a variety of reasons hidden their fantasies and desires... longing to seek out that which they have internalized or hidden for years. These men are often dating or married, but feel anxiety or extreme guilt. After so many years of secrecy - they ask me, how can I possibly share my foot fetish with my lady? In many cases, their lady doesn't know about their fetish, knows about it but pretends she doesn't, or simply thinks it is disgusting and wants nothing to do with it. (There are of course women who do enjoy ped-pleasures and those who are very open to it. Smart ladies indeed. We'll talk about them in a future article). Of course this group of men have a difficult time because they weren't totally honest, and upfront before they got involved. Or perhaps they didn't realize the full extent of their foot obsession and thought it would simply go away - if they ignored it long enough. Sexuality is an extension of one's self. Trying to deny your fetishes is extremely difficult and has a profound negative psychological impact. Denial is an ugly thing and manifests itself in a multitude of unconscious ways.
Lastly I would say newbie pedmen make up a third group. As newbie suggests, these fellas are usually young, inexperienced and in need of direction.They must have a huge sigh of relief when they find Wu's forum and start to interact with his on-line community. They begin to realize that they are indeed normal... that a lot of men share their below the ankle interests, and that this is the place to ask all the questions that have been bouncing around their heads. It is like finding a new home, and Wu's community allows newbies to finally have a much needed release - even if only by being accepted. They will get a different kind of release in the future when he finds a woman who is open to some form of footplay. But much like the second group, the biggest question is wanting to know how they can get a little foot action without coming across like a real freak? How can he open up without embarrassment or even total rejection? Though foot fetish is becoming more mainstream, the media still tends to portray footmen as off the wall, abnormal, foot sniffing creepy shoe stealing geeks! LOL Now we all know that is far from the truth. But TV and movies still make fun at visual or olfactory stimulation from below the ankle. Perhaps in part, women see these depictions and erroneously conclude that feet aren't to be enjoyed in a sexual way. How sad that is. Fortunately though most women can be swayed. Yes, it is true. You can get close and even express your love for feet without ridicule. You just need 3 things. You require patience, confidence and understanding (And a woman with cute feet).
To some of you, this may seem like an old topic, and you have successfully managed to integrate your fetishism into your dating, marriage or lifestyle. For those of you who have - I congratulate you. For those of you who find themselves still seeking some help - here are a few of my thoughts to get you started.
They say that patience is a virtue seldom found in women, and never found in men. In the case of a footman wanting to experience different forms of footplay... this is usually very true. What is a man to do? He knows that he longs to touch a beautifully formed ped, to caress a well defined arch, to suck sweet toes, to tongue the lines of a wrinkled sole or perhaps sniff that euphoric aroma. I am sure you all relish the thought of succulent peds - yours for the taking. This is the part that you newbie fellas need to know most. You must have patience. Not only with ladies, but yourself. Take your time. Don't rush it. Be a gentleman and communicate with your lady. If it is a new relationship - be sure to test the waters before blurting out that you have a fetish. A few compliments are nice, but don't go over board. She will be scared away, if she thinks that you are only after her feet. Try subtle activities that get you close to her feet and get a sense of how she feels about her feet. Many women think that their feet are ugly or smelly and need to overcome that. A possible suggestion would be to offer to take her shopping. Most women have shoe fetish and don't even realize it. Buy her a little outfit and suggest that she might like a matching pair of shoes. After she has modeled some sexy shoes for you - take a little walk over to the cosmetic section and select a matching nail polish. See how she reacts to this day out. When you get the chance, open up a discussion about the shoes she tried on or maybe pedicures. Tell her that you like how she keeps her feet. Try to keep things light at first and if you do get an opportunity to get close to her pretty peds... say while you're on the couch watching TV - don't grope them. Don't take this as a sign that you can gobble and drool on her tootsies. Rest your hands on her feet. Wait and see if she pulls away. After awhile... gently stroke the tops of her feet. Not her soles, as she might be ticklish and jump a mile. No sniffing. Take your time. Have patience with her too. If she reacts well, then leave it there. Wait until you are together away before you try to enjoy her feet further. If she pulls away... that is okay. Give her time and don't get offended. She may not be rejecting you. She might just be as new as you and needs a little coaxing. Coaxing doesn't mean begging. Just like you wouldn't go up to a woman and grab her boobs, you wouldn't and shouldn't grab her feet. Follow me?
The next area of real importance is confidence. This is important in any type of relationship where you want to get closer to a woman. Men are basically simple in their thoughts, and wants. This isn't a criticism. Women however are more complex. You need to be able to carry yourself in a confident manner. Confidence is sexy and communication is key. A woman who is interested in you, will want to please you. If she is sexually attracted to you and allows you to get physical... let her gain self confidence with you. Don't push her away from regular sex and suggest that a foojob would be better. She will be hurt. As things progress with her, start to reveal your sexual interests and express to her that there are a many things that you like about her. After you have opened up about your fetish, you may still need to reassure her that you are a normal guy. If she tries to talk to you about feet, let her talk... hear her... make her feel heard. Ask her if she has any secret fantasies and what types of things turn her on. Maybe try some of these things with her. Make her feel confident about her sexuality. She will then be more willing to explore your fantasies. Don't dump everything on her lap in one night. Let her enjoy a little ped caress before you rush to the next step. This is important. It is just like having sex. Some girls with jump into bed the first night, and some take more time. If she is worth it, you'll wait.
I'm not suggesting that you wait forever, but understanding is key to your success. I have a strong fetish, but it doesn't mean that I would want a man coming onto my feet and expecting that I indulge his fetish right away. Like any part of my body, I need a someone to understand me, and respect me. I know this sounds like a lot of trouble but it really isn't. How can you expect a woman to understand your foot fetish and your strong below the ankle inclinations - if you won't understand her? Give her what she needs and she will give you what you need. A foot-astic relationship is when a woman is comfortable enough with you - to let you show her ped pleasures and she relaxes enough to enjoy them!
This topic is vast. 'Ways to a Woman's Sole' could be the title of a bestselling book. But it really comes down to patience, confidence and understanding. Of course like any form of sexual interaction, or relationship, not all women are the same. There isn't one slick move that will get any woman to surrender her peds to you. But my point to newbies and even you unfilled married men - is that a large percentage of women spend time getting pedicures, wearing foot fashion jewelry and selecting the perfect shoes. Women want you to look at their feet and legs. Women like to be thought of as beautiful. But they don't want you to cut them off at the ankle. And even if you follow these suggestions, it doesn't guarantee you success. Success for some of you, is achieving the Holy Grail... a footjob. Footsex is definitely the next most often asked question. I promise that a future column will cover possible ways to add footjobs into your sex life, and easy techniques to help your lady get comfortable with a good old foot jacking.
Until next time...
Sole Scrunches, Genie.